World of Warcraft inspired “Crab” Cakes

“I need a target”

My high school sweetheart introduced me to the video gamer life. At the ripe age of 16 I completely sucked. World of Warcraft was extremely challenging, I mostly played characters till level 20 (when you couldn’t even get a mount then) and spent gold on pretty robes. At that age I also played Kingdom Hearts, Lara Croft, and Dreamfall…of course using cheats. I was about as good then at video games as I am now at bowling if you get my point.

Fast forward 13 years (eeermmggaawwwdd) Hubz really loves video games. For about the first 6 months I was all “ugh lame” towards him. Then one day I thought to myself “hmmm let me install just the trial of WoW and see if I still like it”. B*TCH I GOT A LEVEL 110 CHARACTER AND I WILL DESTROY YOU.

I think I’ve matured as an adult…into a much better gamer now.

As such last Christmas I got the wonderful book World of Warcraft: The Official Cookbook. It makes my heart siiiiiing. However I’m vegan now and in Azeroth there are not a ton of vegan options. After a little research I discovered you can swap out crab for artichoke and substitute other ingredients. Here’s how you can do it…

Quest Ingredients Require:

-1 14 ounce can of marinated artichokes (drained, reserve juice)

-2 tsp of old bay

-2 tbsp of marinated artichoke juice

-1 tbsp. vegan butter

-2 garlic cloves minced

-2 shallots minced

-2 tbsp. vegan mayo

-2 tbsps. almond milk

-1 tbsp. flour

-1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

-1 heaping tbsp. of minced parsley

-1 celery stick finely chopped

-1 cup bread crumbs (I used Italian)

-vegetable oil for frying

-salt and pepper to taste

-lime wedges

Quest Reward:

-8-10 “Crab Cakes”

-Skill Up 1 Level

-A Pair of Pants + 3 gold


Start by sautéing your garlic and shallots until just fragrant and not too brown. Once you’ve done with that you can pop them into a food processor with all the other ingredients except the vegetable oil. Process until everything is a smooth texture. You’ll want the mixture to form a shape well which made require adding more of either flour or milk depending.

crab cakes mix

Someone said using the word “tacky” sounds perverted. TACKY TACKY TACKY!

Now get a layer of vegetable oil into the frying pan and wait until the temperature is up high enough. My mother used to say you can see it shimmer (okaaaaay) I say put a drop of water in it and if it sizzle like hell fire you’re good to go.

crab cakes cook

Make sure to slightly flatten them so they don’t look like meatballs

I’m not going to give you a “how long” to cook these for. Because first off I was having a rough day and I sucked at frying but essentially it depends on how big your cakes are. You should never leave the kitchen when frying something so give it 2 minutes, and try and see how they are underneath and whether they are ready to be flipped.

crab cakes final

I loved this with lime. I enjoy tartar sauce but the cakes are already heavy, and the citrus compliments instead of overpowering it. I’d suggest trying it this way, maybe try it with some tartar sauce, or even some sriracha mayo.

crab cakes wow

Maybe I’ll go back to Pandaria and plant some more turnips

We’re up to six followers! We only need 4 more zesters to get the contest going! Also, let me know if anyone else is a video game nerd? I’m always looking for indie game suggestions as well! Have a great Monday everyone!



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